remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
