should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
