There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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