i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
