Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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