I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
