I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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