Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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