she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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