Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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