after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
