it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize