You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
