You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
