He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
