Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
