dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
