This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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