p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
