Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
