i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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