Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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