I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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