As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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