so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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