Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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