I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
