Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
