He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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