if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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