She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
