There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
