i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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