i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come share oat with me in your robe
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
