The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
