so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Randomize
