Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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