Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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