Dual....:-)
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
