Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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