i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
