That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
