Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
