I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
