i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
