I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
