He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
