p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
