I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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