we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
