LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
did i walk over a car last night?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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