Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
