If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
