so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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