I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is my gift to your gina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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