She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
