i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
