Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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