note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
