Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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